I've been thinking a lot lately about the role we play in our own circumstances. I listen intently [I know, surprising] as people explain how life keeps knocking them down, how they can never get ahead, and how unfair God is in his plans.
And while all this may be true, I wonder how we can turn that around. Here are a few theories.
God does give us a bad hand from time to time, sometimes many at once, however there is nothing dealt to us which we cannot handle. How different could our circumstances be if we changed our attitudes or the way in which we conduct ourselves?
Many times, these same people [including myself] fail to realize the decisions they've made that have lead them to this point in their lives. How many of us take a good look at how we spend our money? How we save our money? Or the job we've chosen? I understand that to have a job is a blessing - and if that is the only job you can find, ask yourself if you chose to live above the rent you can afford. Ask yourself whether you need to buy a 6 pack of beer each night. Ask yourself whether getting your hair done every 6 weeks or your nails done every 3 is really something you can afford.
In fact, add these things up. How much are you spending on superfluous things when it's hard to even pay the electricity bill each month?
Next we face savings. A lot of times when life knocks us on our ass - it happens to cost money. We may ask "where on Earth am I supposed to come up with that?" When the question should be, why wasn't I putting more money into savings? If we saved more of our money, life would be a lot less daunting when it hit us with some huge financial punch. We'd simply dip into our savings and pay whatever it is off. That being said - emergency savings are just that, emergency funds - I pretend the money in my savings account isn't real money at all. It doesn't exist. It's simply a number on my computer screen when I sign into my account. I cannot spend it, it is not real.That means it's not there for my nails, or my hair, or that cute purse. It's not there for that last minute concert, or for 6 bathing suits for one vacation. It doesn't exist.
What a fun sucker, right? Well - I have a solution. I had been reading lately about having multiple bank accounts - one for fixed expenses, which for me comprises 98% of what I make, making savings difficult - but necessary. Next is for emergency funds, and then - wait for it - fun money! This money is the ONLY money that can be spent on fun like nails, clothes, or vacations. Which percentage of savings is allotted to emergency and to fun depends on you - just remember, your decisions now effect your stress level later when life gives you lemons.
This requires not only a spending change, but an attitude change. If every time we put money into savings we feel sad that we can't spend it. Or if each time we put something back we're depressed. Or if each time we have to pay off an emergency we get angry - obviously saving will feel terrible. However if we tilt that attitude to smiling every time we save up because we get to go on an awesome vacation next year, or when the car breaks down we KNOW we have money put away, it's actually a wonderful feeling!!
Someone leaves us or does us wrong. We lose our job. All of these things seem to happen to us, not as a result of our own doing. However, how many of us failed to work on each aspect of our relationship while we were in them? People are making fun of me for reading relationship books and watching sermons/seminars on relationship building. Anthony and I watch some of them together, and talk about our ideas later. Silly us! Trying to solidify something that could potentially become life long!
I know this seems to be a simplistic view on changing circumstances. However I disagree. I truly believe life is only 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do about it. It obviously doesn't happen over night, but if we continue to live life as we always have - with the same attitudes and the same spending habits - we'll continue to have the same problems when life knocks us down.
We only have today to change our tomorrows. It won't happen over night, but ask yourself if you've been doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results - and then change it!! :)
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