Better than the best

Wandering through junior high - spit drenched carpet, discerning stares, fast friendship and even faster falls from glory - we were perplexed, solitary in thought and in feeling. It wasn't as if we didn't have the love and support we needed to banish those feelings, but more so that we couldn't feel the love and support, we wanted to be drenched in it. Through random interactions and simple phrases we became extraordinary through our friendship, not all at once but over an extended period of time. Six years, six years it has been and although we shared one common love, one girl, we eventually became equally important to one another. Throughout these six grueling years we engaged in conflict between opinions, sensations, emotions, and relationships. In desperate times we told desperate lies, most of which turned into desperate hidden truths. Through our furious passion we learned to love eachother, to never abandon one another. Months of reckless silent treatments existed out of our own stubborn need to prove some trivial point, a point that in the end meant nothing to life and the way we coexisted with one another. Numerous friendships would not have lasted, did not last, through what we call our unsurpassed bond. Often times I have asked myself "why?" why do I stay stationary, amused at best, with these girls; it is when I ask this question that I remember where I was. I was alone in the world, or so I felt, bruised and broken fresh off the cold slippery floors of a hospital room; with only shadowy figures dancing through my room, writing broken emotions down word for word into ambiguous poems - enter Reignie. She came in a burning flame, scorched to the bone with a dark past, dotted with the shimmer of future. Her reckless soul tore into me, I ached to be as she was. She molded and mended me. Flooded with love to give, she could cut into you like a knife while healing your anguish with a kiss. With emotions that ran rampant through her body, she could cry and laugh, hate and love, belittle and elevate you all at once, needless to say she was bemused, but she loved me. Our arguments play out like violens- feverish and wild, striking with soft notes, lashing out with frantic fervor and our resolutions- a blissful ignorance, as if nothing ever happened, softly wrapping ourselves into one another without the use of words. So why do I ask, why-because some people are meant to love, and to be loved. Where was I? I was alone, in my attempts to reconnect with friends long since forgotten. Back from a journey of abuse, of loveless emotion, heightened awareness and diminished self esteem. I had long past let go of any hope for a mother and instead buried my face in the memories engraved into my heart. I felt alone and helpless, I felt abandon - enter Kassie. Riding down my old dirt road I gave her a ring, I had not forgotten this girl of whom Reignie lived next to. She welcomed me with a heart warming voice and a smile that had more warmth than the morning sun. We quickly became close, hanging out everyday. She was lost and looking for Reignie and although I couldn't be her, I wanted badly to be somebodies something. So I worked and I worked to be the one she could turn to, someone that could take in what she wanted to dispose of. After countless nights of being compared to someone not there, I was rocognized afterall. Soon I became what she needed, and Reignie became the other half to that whole she was looking for. In my own way I shone through, in this way I began being who I was and not who I felt the need to be. Our opinions seem to be night and day, our goals and dreams could be defined as worlds apart. Even in our childhood we are as dinstinct as hot and cold. On an everyday basis attitude flickers through our eyelids, lashing out is a weekly occurance and arguments- a must have. Our quiet competivness is only surpassed by our indying devotion to cradling eachother in a neverending embrace of love and acceptance of one another. To say that her and I disagree on most things is an understatement, but to say that we have the ability to move on from just about anything in order to remain forever bonded, would be an even bigger one. Why then, why am I friends with these girls? Because even at our worst, we are better than the best.