Make God Laugh, Tell Him Your Plans

Clearly "inconsistent" is one of the many words that many people use to describe me. So, with that, I bring you my inconsistently written blog! Yesterday was one of the best days so far! Why? Because not only did I get to skim the pasture and pick up garbage so Jason could mow - but while picking up scrap metal I carried a piece of metal fifteen feet and handed it to their little girl before noticing a giant wasps nest CRAWLING with wasps. Get this, not a one of them stung either of us! Thank you God. After cleaning up, we got to take down the fence and help Jason rebuild the new one. I was a hardware removing queen! Anyway - the reason I loved yesterday was because I have been wanting to do work on the actual farm. I love collecting eggs and feeding the chickens, sheep, and dogs - but I really miss working on the farm back home. I'm looking into shadowing some large animal veterinarians around here so I can figure out where I want to be in life. Which brings me to my next point - church. Today, after preparing for Jason's fathers day gift all day, we went to church. Sitting in a group of about 6 people we watched a movie called "God's Story" or something. After a narrator read part of the segment of a book provided with the movie, a person came on to explain the significance. The story was about king Cyrus and his generosity to the Jewish people when he sent them out of Babylon to go to Jerusalum in order to rebuild the temple. Cyrus commanded people from everywhere to provide  silver and gold for the project. After starting the temple the people got distracted and began building up their own houses, businesses, and so forth - forgetting the temple for 16 years [I may have some facts wrong, bare with me!]. After a while a pattern began. No matter how much food they grew, they remained hungry. No matter how much money they accumulated, they could always use more. No matter how much they drank, they remained thirsty. They tried to solve their problems with their own solutions - forgetting to look to God. Anyway - somehow we got to the point that we often times forget to look to God and instead look to ourselves to solve our problems. Not only that, but when something goes right we attribute it to ourselves rather than to his grace and blessings. I have noticed lately that I am lost - lost about going back to college, where I want to live, and what job I may want to do in the future. Funny thing? I wasn't lost three months ago when I handed complete control over to God. I knew exactly where I was and what I wanted. For a while I began to think how funny it was, the impact a roadtrip and not having a job could have - but now I am wondering if the roadtrip has nothing to do with it. If it's actually that I started making plans again, that I started looking to myself to solve problems. Now, the same guy also said that we cannot attribute every set back to God - that some set backs are the result of our own decisions - but never the less, it got me thinking. I have not fallen away, nor have I made any bad decisions but to cure my confusion I know where to look, I know who to look to - God. Because the plans God has for me are so much better than anything I could plan for myself.  
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.