This Sunday I went to Church in Texas, at a place called The Current, with a couple friends of mine and they were wrapping up a sermon series about baggage. Baggage from the past that carries over and penetrates our relationships with our children, our significant others, and our friends.
I was intrigued, to say the least, because we all have baggage - and at times we feel we have more than anyone else. However, they started out the sermon with a video depicting what happened that fateful day in the Garden of Eden when sin was introduced into the world. I was confused. What did this have to do with baggage? It didn't help that I wasn't a big fan of the depiction but that's besides the point. Eventually the movie ended and the pastor pointed out that baggage had come into the world within the first few chapters of the history of man. It was inevitable.
As my boyfriend put it - we had ONE RULE!
Adam and Eve broke that rule, introducing all that we have come to deal with on a daily basis. Again, this is besides the point.
Then the pastor asked "What does sin have to do with baggage?" Thank you, mister obvious, we were all quite confused.
Well, he continued, sin is three different things. Two of which I can't remember to be honest, but one that resonated with me. Sin, above all, carries over. He stated that we are punished for the sins of our father. He then pointed out that in the new testament not as much but plenty of times in the old testament we are told of punishment reverberating across generations of man for what one people did. Which prompted me to look up Ezekiel, in the old testament, and show my friend where in Ezekiel 18:17 it states " He will not die for his father's sins; he will surely live."
I was so bothered by what the pastor had said, I brought it up during lunch, where we had a lengthy conversation which cleared things up for me.
We are punished for the sins of each other. Not so much with life and death - that we earn for ourselves. However, we are greatly affected by what is done to us, even if not by us. The pastor used our parents transgressions as an example, as well as abusive relationships.
We are not in control of how our parents raised us or the sins they committed. We are not in control of those who abuse us. But we are in control of how we handle that.
Sin carries over from their lives, into our own. We have the choice to learn from it and do the opposite, to treat others differently, to live a life for Jesus, to repent when we know we've done wrong. We have the choice to let it go and to move on. Not only for ourselves, but for our children and our significant others.
I am greatly affected by the transgressions of my parents. How they chose to treat each other in their marriage. How they chose to live their lives. The choices they made. The sins they committed.
However, it is my choice not to repeat their mistakes. To sin myself - because we all sin. But to find it in God to forgive those sins. It is up to me to leave the baggage behind and not carry it into my relationship with Anthony and later my children.
Because my choices will affect my children - and how they perceive what is okay and what is not okay. The way I sin will have a lasting affect on how my children handle situations. Each of their first encounters with a situation will be met with reflection on what their mom and dad did. When I tell them what is and is not okay they may ask what I have done in that situation. I can make, and hope that I have made, good decisions in most aspects of my life. Because my choices pave the way for their choices.
They can choose to follow in my foot steps or pave their own way.
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