Sunday, September 8, 2013

The End of an Adventure! Or is it . . .

Apparently I have been so caught up in my life-loving-bliss that I have failed to blog for a whopping 3.25 months! In my absence I failed to close out one very important chapter which I so diligently talked about for several months - my One Year Challenge. 

My year challenge of devoting myself to solidifying my relationship with God and steering clear of dating ended on July 14th. However, as most of you know, I did not steer clear of dating. In fact, I fell madly, deeply in love with a friend whom I have known for four years. He moved here to Minnesota on May 31st of this year - hmm and my last blog was May 28th ;) 

In closing out my year challenge, two months late,  would like to divulge two very important lessons I learned through my year of discovery.

One. Although my year was meant to be spent staying away from dating and devoting myself to only God and me, I am so thankful that I did not do so. Although I chose to pursue my relationship with Anthony, I did not neglect my studies. In fact, Anthony and I took part in deep discussions concerning the God-centered relationship material I was reading. He gave me ideas on how to interpret the information and I helped him to understand where I was learning some of my super outdated ways of thinking. I mean, who knew that the keys to a good relationship were communication, listening, not putting the other person down, allowing each other their own personal space, and trusting one another? As well as  forgiveness, sweet forgiveness. Who knew that complete authenticity could bring two people so close to one another? We are so utterly at ease with one another, it sometimes scares me. The things I can say, the way we can act, surprises nor bothers either of us. When we have something on our mind, we can both reference past materials or discussions we had about how to handle the situation. We are on the same page. 

I truly believe that had I chose to venture on that journey myself, and then met someone, I would have found myself at a completely different point in life than the person with whom I was trying to build a relationship. I would have had to try to remember an entire year of studying and then try to relay that to the person I found myself in a relationship with. And as most of us who have ever been in school know - who the heck ever remembers an entire year of information? Which brings me to my next point. 

To truly know and understand relationships, to really know how to handle situations and practice healthy relationship techniques takes way more than a year. It takes an entire life time. It takes more than reading a book once, you must continue to read it, to search for more material. To read that, to talk about it, to understand it, and to read it again. It takes situations you both encounter time and time again, acting out in a negative way, internalizing your mistake, and trying to do it better the next time. It takes learning what works with your partner, no matter what a book says. I love the basis that the year gave both of us in this relationship, I am a much different person now in my relationship than I was in any previous one. 

Two. Much like you cannot solidify your knowledge of relationships in a year, nor can you solidify your relationship with God. Like your relationship with your partner, this takes a life time. A lifetime of learning, searching, and studying. My relationship with God is ever growing, changing, and broadening. My understanding of the scripture will change with every situation in my life. I will have to read, re read, and continue to read the Bible and various other texts to grasp and continue to grasp my walk with Jesus. Anthony and I will have to continue inserting God in the center of our relationship to ensure that God truly is the heart and soul of our relationship, but this takes more than a year - it takes a life time. 

So while I may have come here to close out an adventure, a chapter in my life, I realized that my adventure - that chapter - is really just beginning. 

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