Empowerment through . . . sex?

Today I was talking with someone whom I love dearly and the topic somehow turned to Miley Cyrus. I was placing her name in a negative context when I heard a sharp disdain for what I had said. After some back and forth on the subject of her provocative style the conversation led to porn and then somewhere in the disagreement I heard the two referred to as "empowering."

Interesting. The definition of empower is as follows:

Empower: verb - make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

So, let me get this straight. Taking off your clothes and touching yourself on public television is empowering? Having sex with anyone you want and getting paid to do so is empowering? The fact that you couldn't get anyone to listen to your "amazing" singing voice without becoming a sex symbol is empowering?

I guess it is. I suppose when you take the definition of empowering for what it actually is. Some women do feel stronger, more confident, without any clothes on. Some may feel better about themselves after having sex with someone whose name they can't remember - or who doesn't remember theirs. 

While we're on the subject - notice I continue to say "she" but in all actuality, I mean "they." Because I am not only referring to women, but also men. Sexuality in men has not only been celebrated but also accepted in our society. As if a woman is the only one who is supposed to keep her legs shut and remember the names of the people she sleeps with. Why are we not holding men to the same standard?  

But maybe that's why women find this behavior empowering. For a man to have his shirt off in public is fine. He can sleep with random women and get away with it. He can be a porn star and nobody refers to how classy he may or may not be. Maybe women feel empowered because they want to be more like men. They want their classless behavior celebrated the way it has been in men. Why? I couldn't tell you.  

You know what I think? It's all been said. It's all been done. Anyone can take off their clothes. Anyone can have sex. Anyone can stand on TV with hardly any clothes one, or no clothes on, touch themselves and get a reaction. In fact, sell more albums. Which, in my opinion, is the shock factor really, but that's an entirely different subject. Any man or woman can roll around in the sheets without knowing the name of their partner. It all feels good until you have an STD or a baby. 

What's empowering is NOT taking off your clothes and still garnering worldwide fame. Not having sex with random people and demanding the respect you deserve. What really takes confidence and strength is standing out in a crowd of overexposed people with poise and class. It takes real confidence to stand up to those who call you a prude or to remain a timeless figure despite staying true to yourself. To be a man or woman of integrity. 

What I find truly empowering is someone who stands up for exactly what they believe in and remains transparent in all of their endeavors - without needing to shock for attention. Without compromising one's beliefs and standards for what will get the most attention at that moment.  Or for what will make them most accepted, for that matter. 

And hey, if that means standing by your sex symbol and touching yourself on screen because that's who you are and the legacy you'd love to leave - all the power to you. 

What I find empowering may not be what someone else finds empowering. I just want those women - who demand attention and respect without needing to shock anyone, those women who could care less when they're not following the crowd, those women who little girls can look up to - to know that I find you empowering. Don't let anyone tell you your "old soul" is a boring soul. That your lack of sex driven antics won't sell. If you've got the talent, they will notice. 

In the end, we're all just human, and we're all trying to find happiness. Wherever that may be.