Room For One More?

I was talking to a friend last night. As I sat and listened to them talking about their dreams: where they'd live, what they want, how they want it. While they spoke, I wondered if there were room for anyone else in those dreams. 

This person was so adamant  about their life goals that it seemed as though there could be room for nobody else's dreams or goals. My next thought was "am I like this?" I began tracing back to all the things I tell those around me. About my dreams of vet school and a farm, of a big family, of how I want my wedding [yes this just so happens to be all planned out] and I wondered, do I leave room for anybody else? 

This train of thought I was on instantly took me back to a time, I was dating this guy in Colorado, I've blogged of him before. When we broke up he said to me "Heather I just don't think i'm what you're looking for, I don't think I can give you what you want." At the time, of course, I was sure this wasn't true. I was appalled that someone thought I wanted so much - so much that they would be unable to give those things to me. As if I needed someone to give them to me. Then listening to my friend last night, I realized exactly how he felt when he said that to me. With dreams SO BIG and SO PRECISE how can anybody else's dreams come in? Because we all have dreams. They are each our own. The "problem" isn't that we have our own dreams, it's that it takes two to tango. Two people with different ideas, maybe the basics are the same, but when you get down to it - the differences are vast. 

When I speak of my desires, do I do so in a way where the other person wonders where they fit in? Although I am sure I do, I hope I learn not to. Because while my dreams are large and pretty exact - I am only dreaming with the knowledge that these dreams can be shaped. The ultimate goal is to find my best friend, to give and to take ideas - to mesh together two sets of hopes. I want someone who will ask me what my ideas are and tell me theirs and we'll figure it out together. Input. 

I was reading an article about a couple who bought a property and their designer had them write a list of exactly what they wanted in a house. This couple decided to do so in different places and compare lists. While much of their ideas were the same - some were different. They had to compromise, to get these lists down to one. It ended happily ever after and they got their home and each had things they wanted - and didn't have some as well. 

I do not want to get so focused on my goals that I don't leave room for someone else. That I exclude the hopes and dreams of the person God has intended me for. I don't want to be so "stuck in my ways" if you will, that I am unable to waver from such a path of determination. Of selfish abandon; that I must obtain all the desires of my heart without deviating by allowing room for another.

I want my dreams to be "we want," not just "I want."