Hard to comprehend

How do you handle tough situations? 

We all handle them differently. When we find ourselves faced with difficult times and don't know where to turn we often turn to those we care about and trust most. During the past few months and through hours of research into the types of people we surround ourselves with I have figured out a couple things. 

One of those things is that not all of our friends are helpful. Not everyone should be a source of support and advice. For instance in the book Boundaries in Dating the doctors who wrote the book specify that those you reach out to during relationship problems shouldn't be the people who only take your side or beat up on the other person. 

We should be reaching out to people who openly listen to all of our concerns and problems but are also willing to listen to all of the ways in which we have decided to cope with these difficult times. We should be reaching out to people who have heartfelt messages intended to help both people involved. They should be wise and level headed enough to help us see not only our significant others faults but also our own faults. 

We should be reaching out to people who have our best interest in mind and have mature ways of dealing with issues. Obviously that leaves one question, are you the type of person i'm describing? 

As a friend we tend to feel a lot of empathy when our friends come to us with difficult situations. Sometimes we forget that how we react directly effects how our friends will respond and what they may do. Are we acting out of love and in the best interest of those  involved? Is what you're saying or doing supporting the decisions that person has decided to make? 

When I say supporting I do not mean you agree with their choices and I don't mean that you say nothing to oppose their choices. What I mean is that you give mature, sound advice outlining the pros and cons. 

Often times we get caught up in emotional responses hell bent on anger, not realizing that these emotional responses can isolate the person from the solution they were seeking.

I guess what i'm getting at is that over the past year I have tried to distinguish not only who are the type of people I can really trust in difficult situations  but also the ways in which I can be one of those people. 

Because not even your best friend is the best friend for every situation. 

So, as I sit back watching people attempt to help their friends in unhealthy and negative ways I fight back the urge to assert myself into their moment. Why? Because if i'm going to talk about handling situations maturely, I can't let my burnt fuse get the best of me, as they have chosen to do.