One Year Challenge: Challenges

So in approximately 4 days I will be one month into my year off of dating and anything male related. I finally got around to watching the fourth and final video in the sex, love, and dating series by Andy Stanley and learned what I am supposed to do during this year. First and foremost - get over any childhood issues. 

Really? Now I believe that I am pretty close to being over my childhood issues but in all honesty each time I start a new relationship they come up, blaring me in the face, taunting me with "what ifs" in my new found happiness. Ultimately causing an unhappy couple. However, my biggest question remains, how will I know if i'm over them when so many times before I thought myself to be over it. Maybe I'll never be over them and Andy is advising that we use God to help us rise above those issues, to learn to move forward even with the pain. 

Secondly we have to get out of debt, which save for my college and car loans I am already not in debt so I think I can put a check in that box. 

Here's the kicker about this whole thing. Previous to taking the year challenge I was perfectly happy being single. I love being single. I love going where I want, when I want, doing what I want, how I want it. I don't get "lonely" or wish someone would "snuggle" with me - just the word snuggle makes me cringe. I like my space in my bed, I don't need to be connected to someone to feel comfortable sleeping. But something crazy has happened in this past month - I actually want to fall in love. 

Here's my hypothesis. What with my sisters wedding and this challenge of bettering myself for my future mate, I have begun to realize that what I like about being single is not having to deal with the wrong people. Maybe I never "didn't like relationships" - I just didn't like the ones I was in and I translated that to every relationship. 

For instance one of my dear friends was at my sisters wedding, I asked her how she and her husband had met. She told me that they were friends for a few years first, she had even hooked him up with a couple of his ex girlfriends. One day she realized she wanted to be with him and invited him to some kind of social event. At this event he left her alone - he let her do her thing, coming up to her just enough to let her know he was there and interested. He didn't ignore her and leave her feeling attention starved and he didn't hover like some love sick psycho path. I realized then that there is an in-between. I realized then that I wanted my best friend. 

Sure love gets crazy and annoying and the other person will want and I will have to give and vice versa - but that's part of the patience and consideration I am working on during this year. Here I am, less than one month in, and I'm already feeling it. I'm already impatient. Surprise ;) 

Not that I've found anyone I'd even come close to wanting to date, but I still pray for the patience to work this through to the end - coming out a better person not only for that future whoever, but also for myself. Stronger in my relationship with me and my God :)