Just another benefit of being twenty-something

I am young – both chronologically and admittedly. So it should come as no shock to me when I discover yet another piece of myself – sometimes quite by accident, despite all the time spent over analyzing my inner self. It's one of the benefits to being twenty-something - having time to utilize these little things - hopefully things we can use for the rest of our lives. I've found a lot of other women feel this way as well – and I’m sure you will relate!

Last night I sat, a half hour past my usual time to leave, waiting rather impatiently to head into a meeting with my HR manager and a Managing Principal. Our meeting was to discuss where I saw my job roll changing over the next few years. Namely – where I saw my job in 2020. Have you ever had someone ask you a question so absurd you literally smiled and shook your head, believing there was no way they expected an honest answer from you? That is exactly how I felt when asked this question. I am new to this job and literally still don’t know quite what I do sometimes. How on earth did they expect this from me? Either way – I wrote up my little proposal outlining exactly what it is that I enjoy – all rainbows and butterflies.

To my surprise [sarcasm] the MP ended up telling me where he saw me – he saw me as an ambassador for the company. He went into great detail about how I light up a room, how the way I interact with people is seldom found, and then asked if I had ever considered traveling to marketing events. I almost couldn't contain my laughter! Although most people make the same assumption as he had, that I love socializing, I had to once again tell another person that I despise networking. The very thought of flitting around and making small talk with a bunch of random people feels schmoozey and utterly gag worthy. Which I explained to him – in a little bit nicer terms.

Then, to my actual surprise, he said “Well, that’s your age – given some time and a little more comfort with yourself, I doubt you will feel the same. You have a gift and a knack for people that is rare. People gravitate to you and there will come a time when you learn to play off that strength – to use it to your advantage in your career.” Flattered, I gave this some thought as I left the meeting and set about home to go to my sister’s for dinner.

Of course, as with most things, the epiphany didn't come instantly – but sitting in the car with my brother in-law about twenty minutes later – it happened [which truly is rather quick]. I was telling him what my boss had said and explaining that I didn't know why I didn't enjoy networking when all of the sudden I knew. I’m not comfortable with myself socially – but more specifically I am not confident enough in my ability to sensor myself. There is one thing I do really well and that’s personal. If you know me – you know that. If there is a question considered inappropriate or unprofessional, chances are I've asked it. If there’s a stance on something that’s deemed insensitive or overly sensitive, I've voiced it. I do deep really well, I like to know what makes you tick – what your childhood was like, where your passions lie, the things you fear. It’s no shock, then, that I also over share. People know more about me in the first hour of knowing me than most people know about their best friends in a lifetime. Okay, that is a slight exaggeration – but only a slight one. I’m working on it!

I don’t do surface level well. The little things – where do you work, how long have you worked there, what are your career goals – not my thing. Which is why I dislike it. It’s in my personality – to avoid things I’m not good at. I've built a wall up around this thing – that I may truly excel at – if only I would allow myself to.

So, what now? Where do I go? What do I do? I’ll tell you where – I get out there, outside my comfort zone and I practice. I get good at professional – at surface level. I leave the safety of what I know and venture into where I would excel, no matter how gag worthy it may seem. Not necessarily because I will come to love it – because I might not, but I will never know if I don’t try. And not because being good at personal is a bad thing – but because it’s an aspect of myself that remains untapped. A part of myself I may really enjoy – if only I could get acquainted.

It’s outside of that comfort zone – and like “they” always say – life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Thankfully - I learned this while I'm still young, chronologically and admittedly.