Andy's One Year Challenge

Today is July 14, 2012 and I am taking the 1 year challenge. The challenge abstain from dating for one year.


Sitting in Reignie and Charlies place, waiting for them to awaken, I decided to continue with the sermons I have been watching. I settled into bed to prepare for the next hour - part three of four. As I watched the screen I became increasingly weary. About half way through I began crying. Not that ridiculous sobbing, just crying. Playing across the screen was exactly what God had intended by me joining POF. I knew I didn't want to date anyone, however, I felt compelled to join that dating website - and again, I would have never seen these sermons had I not decided to join. Eventually it came to a point where Andy mentioned, once again, his one year challenge. I had seen this one year challenge in the second part - pertaining to men - and I literally laughed out loud when he said it. I knew that no body would do that, it seemed extreme. This was different, this time he was talking to me. I've never been promiscuous but I hadn't lived my life, in that respect, in a way that I could be particularly proud of.


He showed an email from a woman who had done the one year challenge and while it was being read I began crying harder. Now I was in full on sob until I can't breathe mode. The ridiculous, heart wrenching, painful sobs. The kind that when its over you feel like some deep pain has been released. It was then, sobbing into tissues, taking deep breaths, that I decided to take the one year challenge. 


For the next year I will abstain from dating and [obviously] any sexual activity. I will concentrate on my relationship with God and learn what it means to turn to Him in times of loneliness and distress. I will learn to love myself for who he has made me. And I hope that I will ultimately learn what He wants for me in a partner, in a life long love. In a best friend. 


I am rarely so candid on this blog, and I even considered not sharing this. Knowing that people know that pain is hard and a little embarrassing but I am publishing with the knowledge that other people have this pain too. Most more so than I. Some with much deeper scars than I could imagine. I am sharing this for the support of many people because while I am devoted to this cause, I am afraid of failing, as I know they are as well. Maybe others will join me, or just offer support. Either way, let the growth begin :) 


Part 3 of 4 : Designer Sex